Considerations for Helping Yourself or Others

I’m in a conflict. What should I do? Follow the steps Jesus gave us in Matthew 18:15-20. STEP 1: Make sure you are prepared to respond biblically Getting to the Heart of Conflict STEP 2: Go to the other person to work it out Foundational Peacemaking Principles STEP 3: Take one or two others along Resolving Conflict through Christian Conciliation – Pay particular attention to the section  on “Conflict Coaching,” since this will probably be the primary role you will play. I’m trying to help someone who is in a conflict. What should I do? First, prepare yourself to give godly counsel. Helpful Resources from the Book Store Peacemaking Principles Pamphlet The Peacemaker Peacemaking for Families Peacemaking Women Peacemaker Workbook Guiding People Through Conflict Training to prepare you Peacemaker Ministries Training Once you have prepared yourself, guide the person you’re helping toward resources that point to Jesus Christ and the hope we have through the Gospel. This website The listed resources available through the online bookstore Local church leaders and your church’s peacemaking team I’m a party to a contract that has a conciliation clause (language that says disputes must be resolved by mediation or arbitration under the Rules of Procedure for Christian Conciliation of the Institute for Christian Conciliation). What should I do? Read Dispute Resolution through the ICC Call to schedule an intake appointment. Prior to the scheduled appointment you must have provided forms as listed in first step. Read the Rules of Procedure for Christian Conciliation   My church is in a conflict. What should I do? First, make sure you are prepared to respond biblically yourself.  Then please read our materials...

Peacemeal – April 16, 2008…Help For Those Who Struggle With A Judgmental Attitude

Help For Those Who Struggle With A Judgmental Attitude  Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand. ~ Romans 14:4 When [other people] fail to satisfy our desires and live up to our expectations, we criticize and condemn them in our hearts if not with our words. As David Powlison writes: We judge others–criticize, nit-pick, nag, attack, condemn–because we literally play God. This is heinous. [The Bible says,] “There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and to destroy; but who are you to judge your neighbor?” Who are you when you judge? None other than a God wannabe. In this we become like the Devil himself (no surprise that the Devil is mentioned in James 3:15 and 4:7). We act exactly like the adversary who seeks to usurp God’s throne and who acts as the accuser of the brethren. When you and I fight, our minds become filled with accusations: your wrongs and my rights preoccupy me. We play the self-righteous judge in the mini-kingdoms we establish…. I am not saying that it is inherently wrong to evaluate or even judge others within certain limits. As we will see in chapter 7, Scripture teaches that we should observe and evaluate others’ behavior so that we can respond and minister to them in appropriate ways, which may even involve loving correction (see Matt. 7:1-5; 18:15; Gal. 6:1).  Taken from  The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict by Ken Sande, Updated Edition...

Charitable Judgments: An Antidote to Judging Others

Charitable Judgments: An Antidote to Judging Others  by Ken Sande, Founder of Peacemaker Ministries I Knew It! “I knew he was too proud to take criticism,” thought Anne, “and now I have proof!” On the previous Sunday, Anne had dropped a prayer card in the offering plate asking her pastor to stop in and pray with her when she went to the hospital for some minor surgery. When he failed to come by, she called the church secretary and learned that her pastor had already been to the hospital that day to see another church member. “So he has no excuse!” she thought. “He was in the building and knew I needed his support, but still he ignored me. He’s resented me ever since I told him his sermons lack practical application. Now he’s getting back at me by ignoring my spiritual needs. And he calls himself a shepherd!” After brooding over his rejection for three days, Anne sat down Saturday evening and wrote a letter confronting her pastor about his pride, defensiveness and hypocrisy. As she sealed the envelope, she could not help thinking about the conviction he would feel when he opened his mail. The moment she walked into church the next morning, one of the deacons hurried over to her. “Anne, I need to apologize to you. When I took the prayer cards out of the offering plates last week, I accidentally left your card with some pledge cards. I didn’t notice my mistake until last night when I was totaling the pledges. I am so sorry I didn’t get your request to the pastor!” Before...

Introduction

Biblical Peacemaking: A Self-Study Website Guide Welcome to Peacemaker Ministries’ “Biblical Peacemaking: A Self-Study Website Guide!” We have designed this guide specifically for our international audience to direct you through the information available on our website in a systematic, helpful manner. We believe that this will be a helpful tool for you to gain a basic knowledge of biblical peacemaking and to begin to see how you can bring God’s principles for resolving conflict into your own life. The guide consists of six sections. You can work through each part at your own pace, completing them all at once, or taking the time to thoughtfully reflect on each portion. To help you reflect on and apply what you are learning, we have included an application section at the conclusion of each segment. Please take the time to think through these questions, journaling your answers or discussing them with others. As you study this guide, please keep in mind that these articles were written by people who live in the United States, for an audience that is largely comprised of Westerners. You might find that the particular application of certain principles looks different in your culture than it does for many people in the United States. We encourage you to identify the biblical principles for responding to conflict and to carefully consider how God’s Word applies to you, in your family, church and community conflicts. To begin studying “Biblical Peacemaking: A Self-Study Website Guide,“ click here. As you complete each section, click the link on the bottom of the page to move to the next section. May our great and...

The Cross and Criticism

Services Mediation Mediation/Arbitration Arbitration Open a Case Forms For Attorneys Who Is the ICC Why Should my Client Use ICC Are They Qualified Process cost Enforceability Rules of Procedure Guidelines Conciliation Clauses Standard of Conduct Testimonies & Reference About Us ICC Distinctives Training Information Peacemakers Pledge ICC Frequently Asked Questions ICC Main Page Contact the ICC This article originally appeared in the Spring 1999 issue of The Journal of Biblical Counseling, (Vol. 17, No. 3) and is reprinted by permission. It is also available in booklet form. by Dr. Alfred J. Poirier, On January 28, 1986, the space shuttle Challenger and its crew embarked on a mission to broaden educational horizons and promote the advancement of scientific knowledge. The most outstanding objective of the Challenger 51-L mission was the delivery of educational lessons from space by teacher Christa McAuliffe. A lesson was, indeed, delivered, but not one which anyone expected. Just 75 seconds after liftoff, tragedy struck. Before a watching world the shuttle suddenly erupted overhead, disintegrating the cabin along with its crew. The debris of metal, blood and bones plummeted to earth, along with our nation’s glory. What had gone wrong? That was the pressing question everyone asked. As teams of researchers examined the wreckage, the specific cause was soon found. The problem was with the O-rings (circular rubber seals), which had been designed to fit snugly into the joints of the booster engine sections. Evidently, the O-rings had become defective under adverse conditions, and the resulting mechanical failure led to the tragedy. Was that the whole story? The truth eventually got out. The New York Times put it frankly:...