Family/Marriage/Children

 Articles on Family/Marriage/Children   Resurrection: Accepting the Consequences of God’s Greatest Act of Peacemaking Family/Marriage/Children Why Christians Divorce Walking in Peace amid Holiday Strife The Myths of Divorce The High Cost of Conflict Among Christians The God We Can Trust The Effects of Divorce on America The Dangers of “Good” Advocacy The Cross and Criticism « Older Entries DVD Group Study Find Help Upcoming Events...

Why Christians Divorce

Why Christians DivorceWithout a doubt, the divorce rate today for Christians is alarmingly high. While there are many factors that contribute to this trend, Chuck Colson addresses one in particular in this short essay: the propensity to appeal to feelings as the highest authority. Chuck rightly describes this as a form of serving false gods—it is idolatry in its very essence. Viewing feelings as the authority only confuses and entraps those involved, distorting the truth and authority of Scripture as well as God’s true design for marriage. Therefore, I commend this article to you as another tool to use in gently helping others to truthfully face their struggles in marriage without turning to divorce.—Ken Sande Peacemaking Women With personal stories and advice firmly rooted in Scripture, this book offers hope for peace with God, peaceful relationships with others, and genuine peace within. $13.95 more info I still remember my sadness on hearing that an old friend and someone I believed was a sincere Christian, was leaving his wife of many years. I was shocked and disappointed. I wondered: How could this man, committed to both his spouse and his Lord, fall in love with another woman?An essay by the late Sheldon Vanauken helps answer the question and reminds us that such temptations are all too common. Vanauken, best known as the author of the powerful love story titled A Severe Mercy, also published a collection of essays called Under the Mercy, which explores these feelings. In one essay called “The Loves,” Vanauken describes how a Christian friend named John shocked him by announcing that he was leaving his wife to marry...

The Myths of Divorce

The Myths of Divorceby Ken Sande, Founder of Peacemaker Ministries Peacemaking Women With personal stories and advice firmly rooted in Scripture, this book offers hope for peace with God, peaceful relationships with others, and genuine peace within. $13.95 more info Most of us would not consider ourselves to be gullible or naïve, yet Scripture often reminds us, “Do not be deceived.” (e.g., James 1:16, Gal. 6:7). In truth, we are easily deceived, and we so often latch on to a piece of “worldly wisdom” that sounds good to us and justifies our actions, even if it is not at all based on the truth of God’s word. Our very hearts fool us and hinder us from seeing situations clearly or accurately. Jeremiah 17:9 says, “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”In the same way, I have noticed over the years that Christians who are in the process of seeking a divorce often use same set of reasons to justify their decision to leave the marriage. I have heard the same excuses so often that I have wondered whether Satan has published a little booklet on how to justify a divorce. The excuses comprise what may be called a “popular divorce mythology.”1 While Christians disagree about what constitutes legitimate grounds for divorce, it is clear that many Christians divorce for all the wrong reasons. We need people around us to speak truth to us and help us see our own blind spots so that we are not fooled by worldly wisdom or by the blindness in our own hearts. Perhaps you can play...

The High Cost of Conflict Among Christians

The High Cost of Conflict Among Christiansby Ken Sande, Founder of Peacemaker MinistriesYou may know from first-hand experience that conflict among Christians is costly. But just how costly is it? I admit that it is difficult to quantify the spiritual cost of conflict—how do you measure the pain, suffering, and diminished witness caused by Christians who fight one another? Yet as I’ve looked at several studies in the United States, I think that it is possible (and reasonable) to estimate the more tangible costs of conflict. I believe you will find it both eye-opening and sobering. Summary Born again Christians in the U.S. file 4 to 8 million lawsuits every year, often against other Christians, costing 20 to 40 billion dollars. There are approximately 19,000 major, scarring church conflicts in the U.S. each year (an average of 50 per day). 32% of born again Christians who have been married have gone through a divorce, virtually the same percentage as our general population. 1,500 pastors leave their assignments every month in the U.S. because of conflict, burnout, or moral failure, costing the church at least $684 million each year. Lawsuits Among Christians 20 million civil lawsuits are filed in state courts each year.1 No attorney I have talked to thought that Christians were noticeably less likely to file a lawsuit than a non-Christian. 41% of American adults are “born again” (have made a personal commitment to Jesus and believe they will get into heaven because they trust in him).3 Estimated number of civil lawsuits filed by “born again” Christians: 4-8 million20 million x .41 = 8 million (even if Christians...

The Effects of Divorce on America

The Effects of Divorce on America The Effects of Divorce on AmericaThe Effects of Divorce on AmericaThis article is adapted from a June 5, 2000 article published by the Heritage Foundation.by Patrick F. Fagan and Robert Rector American society may have erased the stigma that once accompanied divorce, but it can no longer ignore its massive effects. As social scientists track successive generations of American children whose parents have ended their marriages, the data are leading even some of the once-staunchest supporters of divorce to conclude that divorce is hurting American society and devastating the lives of children. Its effects are obvious in family life, educational attainment, job stability, income potential, physical and emotional health, drug use, and crime. Each year, over 1 million American children suffer the divorce of their parents (see Chart 1). Moreover, half of all children born to married parents this year will experience the divorce of their parents before they reach their 18th birthday. This fact alone should give policymakers and those whose careers focus on children reason to pause. But the social science research also is showing that the effects of divorce continue into adulthood and affect the next generation of children as well. If the effects are indeed demonstrable, grave, and long-lasting, then something must be done to protect children and the nation from these consequences. Reversing the effects of divorce will entail nothing less than a cultural shift in attitude, if not a cultural revolution, because society still embraces divorce in its laws and popular culture, sending out myriad messages that “It’s okay.” It is not. Mounting evidence in the annals...